Your Children Were Small Before They Grew Up

Thursday, November 6, 2014
My gorgeous kiddos who I love with all my heart and
take up all my energy to be able to care for them.

I think it's great that moms with small kids have been writing blog articles to remind fellow moms to stop judging one another for making different choices than their own. It reminds us to spread joy and uplifting vibes to our mommy tribe instead of judgement. But there is another set of people I think need that same reminder and they're who I want to talk to today.

For all the people who have older kids, grandchildren, or even great-grandchildren and seem to have forgot what it's like to take care of a small child on a daily basis - stop judging!

Having small kids is no easy task. In case you need the reminder, this part of parenthood involves diffusing fits, changing diapers, catching vomit in your hands, planning play dates, teaching rules, potty training, making meals, laundry, naps, bedtime, and the list goes on and on. You're living day-to-day, trying to get through this stage of parenthood without going crazy, looking a complete mess, and all the while trying to enjoy as many memorable and sweet moments as possible with the children you love so much.

It's really sad how us moms with newborns, infants, and toddlers are expected to do so much for our children, but are truly not able to vent about the physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion that comes with the territory. The moment we express this frustration, it becomes fuel for others to use against us. "You shouldn't have more kids because you complain the two you do have aren't sleeping through the night yet." "He's 3 and he's not potty trained? What are you waiting for?" "If you're not going to let your baby cry-it-out he will always manipulate you, so you shouldn't complain because you're doing it to yourself." "If that was my kid, she would never be allowed to throw a fit in public." 

I'm sure at one point or another you've said something along those lines to someone (or about someone) with small kids. But what I ask of you who have been through this stage of life is to take a step back, really delve deep into your memory bank and remember what you went through. When you do this, I then ask you to be more sympathetic. More understanding. More HELPFUL. I can say with almost 100% certainty you did not have it all figured out when you were raising your infants and toddlers. That you probably diffused a few public fits, gave your kid chocolate for lunch, and woke up a lot through the night. So instead of forgetting how hard it was and feeling the need to pass judgement, offer advice. Offer support. Offer LOVE.

Us mommies of littles need it. We need a hug to know it's okay to feel that it's hard right now. We need a comment on our Facebook post reminding us this is a phase and it too shall pass. And if we want more kids, or want to take our family on a crazy adventure, or even all of a sudden decide to start working again or quit our job and stay home with our kids, we just need your support.

As someone once told me, "Before I had kids and when they were grown and gone I knew everything there was to know about parenting. But during the 18 years I was raising them, I knew nothing."

My older one was 2 years old here and I didn't take the
binky away for my own sanity. We all survived.
The only way my kids would nap and sometimes
sleep through the night.

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